from now on my penis is your penis
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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