Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize