i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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