The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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