I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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