mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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