People in love make me want to vomit
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
