i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
