We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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