Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
is it fun? or sober?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize