haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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