And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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