hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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