As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
