i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize