Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
