Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
