I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
