some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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