You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
