I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
