i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
