That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
