Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
