super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
