At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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