Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
