Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
