So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
