I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
