So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just high enough for therapy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
