One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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