I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
