My first STD was from a foam party
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
