did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
