so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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