Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
