my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize