READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
