The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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