you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
