he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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