Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
