why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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