is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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