There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize