I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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