hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
