YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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