Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
