My sheets look like a crime scene.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize