therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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