so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
