I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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