Pappa wants mamma naked
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
wow bdsm is so cute
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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