I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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