first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
