garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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