And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
