Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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