you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
