Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Never underestimate the power of titties
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
