Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
