North Korea, Best Korea!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
