Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
